Pools, parties, and perspective…

If you had asked me Friday how I thought my weekend was going to go, I would be hard pressed to summon up a positive word. I woke Friday tired. Add in a dash of dizziness and a shit ton of fatigue throughout the day, and that was my Friday. I made the unbelievably ridiculous call to go to Lord & Taylor to try on swimsuits after work. The unfortunate side effects of Prednisone does not leave my suits from last year as a suitable options. Needless to say that did not go well. Amazingly there were no tears, perhaps the occasional F bomb escaped my lips in a sad pathetic slow tone while in the changing room. At this point I basically went home and crashed for hours, waking the next day feeling refreshed for the first time in what felt like forever.

I was productive! I mowed my lawn, cleaned my deck, laundered all the dirty clothes in my house, vacuumed, and grocery shopped. I was a Domestic friggen Diva with a dash of badass landscaper thrown in.!! On a whim while going grocery shopping I popped into Marshall’s and found 3 bathing suits that did not make me cry. Three!! The best part of Saturday however was catching up with a good friend while our kids laughed and played in the pool. We exchanged our latest stories and tales of woe. With her open heart and mind, Annelise often gets the unabridged and unedited version of my story. I rounded out that day by going by my sisters to get ready for my dad’s party the following day and preparing food for said event. Today we celebrated my dad’s 70 years on this planet. His birthday was actually May 14th, but he was in Florida at the time and we were unable to properly celebrate it. He was expecting just the immediate family to welcome him and Sue home, what he got is a small crowd of his closest family members there to celebrate his birthday. He was surprised!! I enjoyed the company of family I don’t see enough of, along with those I see all the time. In a word today was lovely.

I did not allow my own insecurities to creep into my world this weekend. Maybe having kids and not having a choice, I just get through it. Navigate it with humor and honesty. Knowing that they need to see me being strong and resilient. Leads me to the understanding that our circumstances don’t define us, they are simply part our story. A part of our story that should be shared because you don’t know who might benefit from hearing it. More importantly it opens a dialogue that can truly change you as well. I had real conversations. Freedom from my old desire to gloss over all the imperfections, allowing the light to finally shine into my cracks. Not rushing to hide or mask any of the messy imperfections that make us who we are. I laughed and joked, and looked for all the silver linings. Today I celebrate the real heroes-family and friends that remind us who we are at the core. You know who you are. Your dedication and bravery have not gone unnoticed.