Moon face, my ass!!

Moon face, my ass. How do they call it “moon face”? This nasty side effect of Prednisone that causes your cheeks to explode and your neck to become non existent. First it really is not limited to just your face. Your stomach gets bigger and if you’re lucky you develop a buffalo hump.  Luckily I don’t think I have the buffalo hump, but hey they treatment is long and I am only 4 weeks in. Along with the appearance changes, we have the mood swings and lack of sleep to add to the repertoire of loveliness. Honestly the term ‘moon face’ does little to accurately describe what this really feels like. These side effects are temporary and will resolve once I am off the meds, but man they are rough physically and emotionally. Indulge me in a side story and I swear it will circle back to the most accurate description of what prednisone is like.

Twenty plus years ago I shared an apartment with my cousin Rich. Rich had a fish tank with a few different types of fish, one of which was a puffer fish. If you don’t know what a puffer fish is it a fish that actually inflates into a ball to help evade predators. They literally puff up when irritated.  One night we returned home to find that my cousin Rich’s fish tank had sprung a leak while we were gone. The water had decreased by ⅔, and the size of the puffer fish had increased at least 10x his normal size. If I didn’t see it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t have believed it possible for this little guy to get so big. I remembered this story recently when asked how I felt on Prednisone.  With vivid detail I remember the bloated details of that scared little puffer fish. There was a vague look of confusion when my response was “I feel like my cousin Rich’s puffer fish”, yet the most accurate description I could come up with.

Every day I feel like that puffer fish awaiting his fate-bloated, irritated and scared. The bloated and irritated are normal side effects of the medication, but the scared is all mine. A lot rides on the success of the Prednisone. If this treatment doesn’t work , my kidneys may continue to worsen, and I could go into kidney failure. The course of my life will change dramatically in ways I never planned on. In that waiting and wondering I feel like I am in a fish tank. Surrounded by this disease, it can be difficult to see past it and focus on anything else. Luckily I have some distractions-my children, friends, family, work, and now this blog to keep me focused on the big picture. I am more than this, and it will not define me.

I see you little puffer fish, hell I am you. We got this!!