Back to Life…
Back in the swing of things after being on vacation for close to two weeks. I can’t remember the last time I took that stretch of time off, and I encourage you all to do the same. It takes a few days of vacation to really unwind. To lift the weight of life from your shoulders and really breath and relax. I started every day of vacation with the sunrise. I woke, and as my babies slept I went for a walk. I didn’t have my usual distractions of music or another person chatting away as we walked. I let my thoughts take the main stage. I did this 3 mile loop and the first day was a challenge. My legs were cramping and I felt generally weak. Let me remind you that it wasn’t that long ago I ran a 1/2 marathon. As the week progressed I found this loop to be easier each day. I came home and continued with my ritual of waking and going for a walk. I can not say for sure if it was something that struck me on one of my walks or a slow evolution that occurred over multiple sunsets on the beach, but I am re-energized and ready to face the challenges placed in front of me. I also got some very good news from my kidney specialist. My kidneys have improved to the point that I can start tapering off the Prednisone. It will be over a month until I am down to 10 mg, but I am excited to see some of these side effects ease up.
Although I am sure you are already familiar with the wisdom I am about to impart, it is worth repeating. This is it! Life is just to damn short for sorry ass excuses, beating yourself up for past transgressions, and getting worked up about things out out of your control. Life is to damn precious to spend one moment on negative self talk, feeling less than, or living up to other people’s standards. Allow the challenges placed in front of you be building blocks, and not road blocks. I don’t know if this disease is going to quietly be pushed into remission, or flare up again. I don’t know if I will end up on dialysis, or need a kidney transplant down the road. I will live in the unknown, and have to be ok with that. I will take on worries only on an as needed basis. Lastly I will continue on the path to wellness-physical and spiritual. Writing and sharing my story has been a blessing, and I am so grateful for all the kind words and support I have received. If I continue with anything else at this point it will just be a rambling mess of cliches and thoughts, so I will end it with one final thought that I will continue to strive towards. Simply this-dive in, breath and be present.