Keep your chin up girl…

Three simple words-I need help. They lay like molasses on my tongue, not wanting to escape my mouth. Fear that once they escape into the universe I will have to give up the shield of independence I carry with me. I don’t believe that this is unique to me, but rather a plague that effects women in general. We don’t ask for help, and we don’t put ourselves first. This has become abundantly clear to me recently, in both myself and some of my favorite women. Why do we do this ladies? I can’t tell you how many projects I have started or attempted to tackle because I didn’t want to ask for help. Some of which I successfully executed, however there were many I truly frigged up. Surrounded by people who are far more qualified and willing to help, yet I watch a you tube video and think I got this. The good news is I am getting better at this. I am attempting to unlearn my automatic response which is to recoil at the sign of a hand being extended in assistance. I have been reminded more recently how very important it is for us to take care of ourselves, and to admit when life is kicking our ass. I am fortunate to be surrounded by some strong women who demonstrate daily what strength really looks like. It is humor and humility. It is embracing your flaws and weaknesses, without allowing them to define you. It is asking for help when you need it.

The other night one of my favorite pillars of strength and resilience called to check up on me. My aunt has been through much and has always carried on with her head held high, and lifting up those around her in the process. She truly amaze me. During the course of the conversation she reminded me that she was there if I ever needed anything. I promised to call if I did, and yet I had to admit that this was not an easy thing to do. We talked a little bit about how difficult it can be to ask for help, to admit that things have gotten away from you. We talked about my mom, who I don’t think ever really learned how to ask for help. Even as we lowered her onto a hospital bed, she still always managed an “i’m fine”. She wore that phrase like a badge when she was sick, even up to the bitter end. I think about my mom and all the potential buried with a voice that was never really heard, and I want to turn back the hands of time and ask her what she needs. I may need to take a minute and unravel that same streak of stubbornness from my DNA before I can fully embrace these ideas of asking for help when needed, but I am trying. My aunt’s parting words on that call remind me that I have a safety net I can always deploy when needed, and how that can make all the difference…”keep your chin up girl, and if it falls you give me a call”.