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Keep your chin up girl…
Three simple words-I need help. They lay like molasses on my tongue, not wanting to escape my mouth. Fear that once they escape into the universe I will have to give up the shield of independence I carry with me. I don’t believe that this is unique to me, but rather a plague that effects women in general. We don’t ask for help, and we don’t put ourselves first. This has become abundantly clear to me recently, in both myself and some of my favorite women. Why do we do this ladies? I can’t tell you how many projects I have started or attempted to tackle because I didn’t want…
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That wasn’t so bad…
Ok so I did it…I went live! You cannot imaging how hard that was for me to share on facebook, and open myself up like that. Real concern that I was going to perceived as a attention seeking wine-bag left me second guessing myself many times before I hit post. I entered it, deleted it, walked away, texted my sister, re-entered it, and walked away for an absurdly long time to ponder what I was about to do. Finally my sister reminded me that “It’s not porn”, and essentially reminded me to push past my comfort zone and do it. So I did! I shared it on both my site,…
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Going live is scary AF…
So I am not sure exactly what I hope to come of all this. This idea of putting myself out there is overwhelming and scary. I have never been the type of person to jump around and try to be the center of attention. I don’t put my shit on blast to garner support, sympathy, or a attention. So why am I starting a blog you might ask? The short answer is I felt drawn to this idea of sharing my story. I usually write for myself. To work things out and make sense of things beyond me my control. I write from a place of rawness. A few of…
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Moon face, my ass!!
Moon face, my ass. How do they call it “moon face”? This nasty side effect of Prednisone that causes your cheeks to explode and your neck to become non existent. First it really is not limited to just your face. Your stomach gets bigger and if you’re lucky you develop a buffalo hump. Luckily I don’t think I have the buffalo hump, but hey they treatment is long and I am only 4 weeks in. Along with the appearance changes, we have the mood swings and lack of sleep to add to the repertoire of loveliness. Honestly the term ‘moon face’ does little to accurately describe what this really feels…
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My body is attacking my kidneys!!
So maybe a little dramatic, but actually a very accurate statement. You see I have been recently diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder, IgA Nephropathy. I am a nurse and still didn’t know much about this disease prior to being diagnosed. You see I hadn’t been feeling well for quite awhile leading up to this. A list of vague symptoms and I failed to connect the dots. Prior to this I was very active and somewhere over the past year noticed that I just didn’t have the same energy or exercise tolerance. I got intermittent swelling in my ankles, but I contributed that to the heat or overuse. I was always…
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And we’re off…
So I decided to start a blog. In doing so I can honestly say I have no specific skills or knowledge base from you to truly benefit from. I do have a vast array of specific experiences, however difficult to put together into a neat little blog for your benefit. They list ranges from marriage, failed IVF, adoption, loss of loved ones, divorce, major weight loss, running, and more recently serious illness. Life continues to challenge me in ways that I am still trying to navigate. I write random prose poetry when life inspires or saddens me, some of which I will share. Over my 40 plus years I have…